Get a watermelon, draw a face on it, and talk to it before making love to it.

“I am Vigalig the Destroyer. Except during the day, and then I am Gigalig the Gi…”

“Contribute to No More Lies Dot Org. Every dollar you donate will bring us 75 ce…”

“Jarod Kintz likes writing about himself in the third person, because he really …”

“Love is like a rolling rock—with wheels. And legs, too! But no breaks or shoes …”