Gin is a confusing drink. It’s the only liquid that’s both wet and dry.

“I’ll grab my crotch at you. It’s a greeting, like hello, only more provocative …”

“Your impression of me is different than my impression of me. But that’s OK, bec…”

“I had dried jizz on my pants, so I took it to my dry cleaners. My pants got cle…”

“I’d drive a thousand miles just to learn how to conserve gas and help save the …”