Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment.

“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”

“I could help you,” I said. “Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfrien…”

“Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I sh…”

“I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionally mature.”