Good friends are like appendages. It's painful to lose one, and crippling to lose two or more.

“For your birthday, I got you a box. Hooray! It’s empty, so you can fill it with…”

“I always say “I couldn’t agree more,” even if I wholeheartedly disagree, becaus…”

“He’s a year shorter than me, but he’s a foot younger. I love him like the broth…”

“I noticed you piss standing up, Dr. Kravenkrotch said.
How do you kn—oh, do I s…”