Governments are nothing more than elaborate Rube Goldberg apparatuses, operating with absurd inefficiency. Why walk ten steps when you can make it there in a hundred?

“Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff.”

“When you pay for security, it seems like you’re paying for nothing—and that’s t…”

“Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate).
 It tastes like love, only n…”

“Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I …”