Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.

“A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want…”

“When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for …”

“The quickest way to become an interesting person is to show interest in others.”

“I can take care of myself, but I can’t take care of myself and a child. I’ve de…”