Happiness is, waking up without a hangover.

“The best thing I can tell you about girls is that it is not so much how they se…”

“Most of my girlfriends are sent by the Devil and seem genuinely bemused when I …”

“Writers should cut as close to the vein as possible. The readers don't want to …”

“Any respectable alcoholic, worth his salt, should wish to wake up dead.”