He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

“I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.”

“(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat op…”

“I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children fo…”

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”