He wouldn’t even understand dry wit if you dropped him off in the desert with a canteen full of sand and a Sandberg poem.

“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee …”

“I had a dream about you. You told me you loved me, and then you stabbed me with…”

“She had amber-colored eyes. Or maybe they were blue, and I was confusing their …”

“I keep my heart in my hope chest. Other items in there are clothes, towels, sil…”