Her boyfriend can’t hold a candle to me. Especially not while I’m holding the strobe light. It’s hard to do modern dancing when you’re living like it’s 1882. Still, I make it look pretty easy.

“Don’t talk while you’re talking. It interrupts me.”

“A blanket could be used to make people smile. But the blanket won’t make just a…”

“A brick could be used to start your car, if your car’s keys are cube-shaped and…”

“My writing doesn’t improve if you think it’s great, and it doesn’t lessen if yo…”