Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price.

“My first and last name is like a candy bar in your mouth that you can chew on a…”

“The leftover remains of a human brainstorm might make tasty soup”

“The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.”

“The girl of my dreams got married to someone else. But that’s OK. I don’t need …”