I always keep a spare set of keys in a spare set of pants that are folded up and stuffed in my wallet in case I lose either my pants or my keys or both, as I did yesterday while enjoying myself at the petting zoo.

“I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it …”

“A chef should make a dish using only my words as ingredients. My words will tas…”

“-I have this friend—you don’t know him—but—
-Is his name Molloway?
-No.
-Oh. I …”

“All I took on my trip were my ideas. So, I guess I’m not a light packer.”