I always wear size 14 boat shoes that are so old they could have been built by Noah.

“If I were facing a firing squad, I’d ask them to hold on just one second, becau…”

“At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Zipl…”

“In the long run, a treadmill’s a great investment.”

“We were in love. When I say we, I don’t mean her and I. I mean me and my clone …”