I am Fried Quiero Loud Babcock (not bad cock), and I am here for the ranch dressing your father promised my father, 53 years ago. Kindly pour some on my salad and I’ll be on my way.

“The abbreviation for Brazil, BRA, makes me think of breasts. I have no idea why.”

“It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like p…”

“I can tell you what I wasn’t doing when I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to: …”

“I once went to a Russian restaurant called “Stalin’s Café.” All the items on th…”