I am in possession of the love cannon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but please don’t take this the wrong way (my love cannon’s point of entry is not your anus).

“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as dea…”

“The question is, If I killed your husband, would you seek revenge, or would you…”

“Some men might buy their wives stoves for their birthdays. But I’m not that sex…”

“For most Americans, money and calories are always on their minds, although they…”