I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself.

“Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, ma…”

“I don’t break wind—I repair it. I am the anti politician, because when one spea…”

“I’m feeling a little under the weather. But once I open my umbrella, I’m sure I…”

“Is love the cereal or is love the milk? Neither. Love is the spoon.”