I am the Chuck Yeager of love. You’ll need to wear earplugs when I break the sound barrier of your heart.

“I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that’s to be expected, since she is a…”

“I like my eggs sunny side up at midnight, and I wear sunglasses when I eat them…”

“If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, don’t knock it.
”

“I keep my phone on vibrate, and I keep it close to my genitals. You should call…”