I am the go-to guy for to-go boxes.

“I met a man with no forehead and receding eyebrows. He had ketchup crusted on h…”

“What’s the point of being the first to arrive? Nobody is there to witness your …”

“I’ll be 30 in March, and it feels just like yesterday that I thought tomorrow w…”

“Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a…”