I am the time machine of love. Quick, pull my big lever!

“I’ve got semen stains on my shirt, and spaghetti stains on my underwear. Ah, bu…”

“We were getting a divorce. But not from each other. Then we were going to get m…”

“A lie makes up 3/4ths of life.”

“After I’m famous, I want my statue to be made out of beige Jell-O, and I want t…”