I am the William Wallace of love. Wait, no I’m not, I’m the Robert the Bruce.

“Day or night, I can’t see the wind. But at night, it feels like I can see it ev…”

“I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag wit…”

“I thought it was a tree log, but it was just an erect elephant penis. But that …”

“My initials are J.O.K., and then there is a silent "E" on the end. And not only…”