I asked her out on a date, and she said, “Sorry, I can’t see you.” “That’s no problem,” I replied, “I won’t wear my invisible cloak.

“Ben Bernanke is like an economist on a misty morning, because he hasn’t the fog…”

“I stole her perfume out of her car, and in its place I left a loud fart.”

“I’d paint with a beard if I could grow out of my abstract expressionist phase.”

“I’ll steal bodies, not to be Corporal Corpse, but to have access to a never-end…”