I asked my doctor for the best gift ever: Life. Still, he wouldn’t take one for me.

“We all make mistakes. Some just manufacture them in a factory and sell them to …”

“Sure, I have nice shoes. They’re in my closet, collecting a patina of dust. My …”

“Love is when you love someone’s spirit as much as their body, even if their spi…”

“I want to work at a big firm. Erection.”