I believe men belong in the garage, because that’s where the dog food is stored. And the band is kept there. Auditions start after I move the car.

“The only way I’ll ride a horse is if that horse is in a wheelchair, being pushe…”

“It’s what’s inside that matters. I’m confused inside, because I just ate some s…”

“I like watching other people watching other people.”

“How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same thing…”