I belong to a secret order. We all have OCD, so you’d better believe we have order.

“I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.”

“While getting a haircut, I thought about my failed marriage. Instead of feeling…”

“A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a br…”

“A balanced argument is one that takes place entirely in my head, and doesn’t ca…”