I call my thumb Napoleon, because I rarely ever lose a thumb war. Also because my thumb's so small, and I wear a tiny funny hat and cape on it.

“I’m winning over fans every day. They’re not my fans, but at least they’re losi…”

“You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do…”

“The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating comm…”

“Kick the blanket, don’t kick the bucket—especially if that bucket is full of de…”