I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it in person, I’d have caught her with another man. I don’t care if he was my clone, it isn’t right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.


“I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t le…”

“I have aspirations of becoming the first man to put on a chicken suit, cross th…”

“I am the man of your dreams. Go back to sleep.”

“When I go house hunting, I use a rather large gun. You should see me fish for t…”