I can be a better friend, lover, and humanitarian, but I can’t be a better eggroll. Sadly, I’m as good of an eggroll as I’ll ever be.

“The US has the highest incarceration rate in the world. I don’t want to release…”

“When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my…”

“I want to buy “A Touch of Gray,” because I’d look more distinguished with a tou…”

“My first inclination is to make my business all about me, but my second instinc…”