I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube.

“I found a body today. It was mine, so I played with it.”

“But they soon found out that Robert just wasn’t personable, which isn’t surpris…”

“Birthdays, like women named Bertha, are not named after great Aunt Natalie. But…”

“A blanket could be used as a duvet, in the fight against elitism.
”