I can take care of myself, but I can’t take care of myself and a child. I’ve decided to give myself up for adoption.


“If a handicapped woman says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask…”

“I called the cops to see if I had a rap sheet. I do, and it rhymes.”

“Aside from criminology, I’d say archaeology has the highest body count.”

“She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she wa…”