I can’t talk you out of what your heart is set on. I just hope you set it on the shelf, next to my book.

“Obese people have really begun to eat up a lot of my free time. That’s the skin…”

“Today I ate my manuscript with the very spoon I used to write it with. My book …”

“I would consider myself a regular at my favorite bar, but there’s nothing norma…”

“My name is spelled “Spelled,” but it’s pronounced “Pronounced.”