I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy and emits foul odors.

“There’s nobody worth talking about, so let’s not talk about it. Only let’s do i…”

“I’ll wipe a booger on your living room wall, not only to show I was there, but …”

“Wheelchairs won’t kill you. And cigarettes won’t paralyze you. Stick a wheelcha…”

“If your nipples were on your eyelids, then and only then would I give you eye c…”