I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 


“My erection at noon causes an elongated shadow so black you’d think I was an al…”

“A blanket could be used to sell ice cream to streakers. Well, it could, if thos…”

“My facial hair is imperative. I put the must in mustache.”

“I’m like a tree frog when it comes to birthdays. Basically, my thoughts on birt…”