I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.

“I love the way the color lavender smells, and the way the color salmon tastes. …”

“My skin hasn’t been sleeping. It stays awake just itching for a fight.”

“Growing up, the only class I didn’t doodle in was Art class, because there I’d …”

“A blanket could be used to rob a bank. Guns are so Bonnie and Clyde, but a blan…”