I could either buy one missile, or 88,000 cups of coffee. Both would wake me up, but the coffee would also wake up North Korea. I’ll go with the coffee.


“I am the bow of love. I’m also the bow of hate. Same spelling, different pronun…”

“I have so much love that it could stretch around the world’s largest dick. But …”

“Sometimes it’s not about selling my handmade crafts. Sometimes it’s about givin…”

“Love is yesterday’s tomorrow, minus the frozen musical notes, soggy teabags, an…”