I could have murdered a man today, but by not doing so I saved his life, and thus became a hero to myself. I’m like that all the time. Being heroic, I mean.

“A brick could be carried to the beach. You can bring your laptop or tablet and …”

“Starbucks has odd drink sizes. I say man’s hands were meant to be cupped, so po…”

“A blanket could be used to improve the quality of your trumpet playing. Wrap th…”

“I like remembering her as she was—a fantasy of the future.”