I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on ti…”

“I don’t like dirt, because nothing is dirtier. Except politics.
”

“Even though I believe birthday parties should be given, not taken, I wish someo…”

“I think I have a strange thing growing out of my neck that causes me to think t…”