I don’t like salad dressing. I prefer salad undressing. I’m a health freak. And I do mean freak.

“People used to tell me that when I smile I really warm up the room. Well, the m…”

“I just got circumcised, and to help the homeless, I’m going to make a tent out …”

“A brick could be used to unite two long-lost brothers. They’ve been apart for s…”

“Pound-for-pound, I’m the best non-fighter in the world. I could kick Gandhi’s a…”