I don’t think I’d come off well on TV. But if you ever see me on, my advice is to add more bleach and keep scrubbing the screen.

“I’m stoic like a statue of Stonewall Jackson. I’d make a great U.S. President, …”

“The best way to deal with tiredness is to sleep it off.”

“A two-headed man should have twice the IQ, and the ability to have internal dia…”

“Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes. You can’t fool an old sheep like me. T…”