I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal business at 5:01 pm: very much closed.

“My name is Mr. Greenblew, and I am not turquoise.”

“Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, go all …”

“I had a lead, but nobody caught me, or any other metal.”

“A blanket could be used as a Portable Night Generator. Just stretch it over you…”