I don’t want a home, but I do want to buy a lot that I like a lot.

“Get a watermelon, draw a face on it, and talk to it before making love to it.”

“I pitted two ditch diggers against each other, to see who could dig a pit the f…”

“Baby toys were left at my door. Either someone’s trying to get my attention, or…”

“A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is …”