I ended up with the nomination, and the breasts to back up the voter’s confidence in me as a woman.

“Some people say—not to my face, mind you—that I’m a cowardly son of a bitch. An…”

“A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server,…”

“A brick could be renamed something clever and cute, like President, and repacka…”

“Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow…”