I enjoy the small things in life. Like my penis.

“I am the tomato of grapes. I am the cherry of tomatoes. I am the red fruit of l…”

“It’s not stealing if I didn’t know it was in anybody’s possession, and I didn’t…”

“You can’t believe every word you read while watching TV. (Even with closed capt…”

“A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid.…”