I feel with a mullet and a mustache my job prospects would improve.

“I wish trash were treasure, because then I’d be a garbage collector and king.”

“He was a vegetable, so trying to change his mind was fruitless.”

“An author named Arthur Arthurson would write about art, love, and road kill in …”

“Hardly anybody tells the truth these days. For the truth I have to go to Washin…”