I floated like driftwood in the ocean. I wasn’t worried about sharks, because my bathtub is much too shallow.

“I make love in my bathtub, because there’s only room for one person.”

“All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happe…”

“I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a per…”

“I have a double-breasted suit. It’s got four nipples stitched on the front (two…”