I found love when I stopped looking for it. And I sold it precisely when everyone else began their search.

“If I didn’t have any pants on, I’d let you taste my pantslessness.”

“Hard work would really open doors for me. So would being disabled.”

“Love is like a banana, and I keep it in my pocket on cold days to warm up my ha…”

“I won’t tell you my name, but I will give you a number that describes me: 4. On…”