I had some Mexican for dinner. Who knew cannibalism could be so tasty?

“How many seconds does it take to win second? As many as it takes to win first—i…”

“18 is like two snoozes back to back, or the birthday of two clones, blindfolded…”

“A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in yo…”

“If I could lick the sunset, I’ll bet it would taste like Neapolitan ice cream.”