I had to sell my cigarette boat, for fear it would cause cancer.

“I drink coffee like a civilized man—alone in a cave, wearing a loincloth, and g…”

“I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hou…”

“Some people sleep their lives away. But I also want to sleep death away. If I s…”

“Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade.
”