I have a beard of grass. I grew it on my back, and sometimes my neighbor mows it for me. Meow!

“Stop a drunk driver and you stop a murderer—even if he hasn’t killed anyone yet…”

“A blanket could be used to express my feelings towards her. You see, I’m not ti…”

“I’m a stand up guy. Especially when compared to someone sitting down.”

“Me and my clones will form a band called The Eels. I’ll be one of the most elec…”