I have a black-belt in self-pity. I was an expert in the field. Still am. It’s a skill you never forget.

“Plus, once he did the requisite double-take and recognized me, he’d probably be…”

“...every woman has one unforgivable thing, one thing that she'll never be able …”

“...I'm under a microscope where my every facial expression is being studied. It…”

“It's not that I wanted to be dead, I just felt like I should be. Which is why i…”