I have a container full of yelling I keep in my kitchen. It makes a great cleaning product, as it’s wonderfully abrasive.

“I have extremely great aim when it comes to peeing. I can, for instance, manage…”

“My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while…”

“My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I’m wearing. If I’m wearing …”

“I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest.
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